We initially planned to have Martin cycle the shuttle on his mums fold up bike, but luckily we met Wilf at the start of the trip. His friends had been out drinking the night before and weren’t quite up to the trip. He joined us meaning we had two cars for the shuttle. Lovely how the paddling community works! Many thanks to Wilf for this.
We parked next to what was basically a stream, Darren then asked, quite sincerely, “Are they like what the boulder gardens are like.” Looking at the rocks dotting the stream. This was followed by laughter and Martins explanation that the gardens may be slightly bigger than that. Darren subsequently ran off for yet another nervous wee making the tally a total 4 within the space of 15minutes! (Darren adds I drink a lot of water)
The trip started with some grade 2 boulder gardens giving us a nice idea of what was to be expected. After completing the first two rapids Simon asked Martin if the rapids got any harder than that, to which he said, yes they did get quite a bit harder. At this point Simon's bottom lip started to quiver a bit, and I’m sure that the water that he emptied from his boat later on had a sort of yellow shade to it. In fact Simon kept asking Martin "Does it get any harder than that?" or "Are we past the worst bit?" etc. most of the way down. Darren was also often asking Martin what names each of the rapids had; he was most disappointed to learn that they weren't called "ball-cruncher" or "Satan's bottom" and in fact didn't have names at all.
The gardens then picked up to grade 3-4 demanding some technical paddling. These offered some definite pinning opportunities for the unwary but thanks to some expert leading from Martin everyone took these very well with no swims or rolls.
Following the boulder gardens there were a series of ledge drops of ascending difficulty (grade 2 – 3+/4-) known as the “Mad Mile”. These were taken well by most but Ross took his first roll on one of the later drops after ploughing into a hole, hitting the bottom and getting flipped out. Darren also took his first roll on one of the falls, impressively back-looping out of a hole.
Next up was the notorious “Euthanasia falls”, a large grade four shoot though a rocky channel. This put doubt in all the group’s minds causing Darren and Simon to cut their losses and portage. However Martin, having not shot the falls out of all 12 visits to this river eventually decided the time had come to face his demons. Ross also decided not to miss the chute as did Wilf. All three shot the fall successfully as Darren took pictures from above and Simon applauded begrudgingly as he wondered whether the portage was in fact the right idea.
The next major fall was the grade 4 “Surprise-Surprise”/”Pandora’s Box” rapid and fall. After inspection by everyone the narrow slot was deemed to be safe and although it was a tight squeeze Ross, Simon and Wilf made it with no problems. Martin took a dunk at the bottom but barely managed a roll followed by a sculling recovery. Unfortunately this was not caught on film. Mr Harrall has since issued a statement: “If my allegedly poor roll and sculling recovery wasn't caught on film then it couldn't have happened. The fact that you two have chosen to write this down is obviously slander and you will of course be hearing from my lawyers.” We are therefore forced to withdraw and revise our previous statement; “Martin’s roll was in fact flawless and was executed with unmatched precision and prowess.”
Darren however was not so lucky and after missing the line hit a ledge flipping him and sending him down the fall in what looked like a face-grating slide. His paddles were pulled from his hands and a swim at the bottom proceeded. The group rushed over expecting see half his face missing but to everyone’s disappointment the only damage was a small bruise on his thumb! An impressive bail none the less. Undeterred Darren hopped back in his boat and suggested we finish the trip with a lap of the ‘loop’ section! That’s the spirit.
After a few boulder gardens and ledges (grade 2+/3) had been completed by the group the final three mile ‘loop’ section began. Whilst Martin and Wilf sorted out cars Simon and Ross headed on down to Newbridge playwave for some attempted “freestyle”. Martin and Wilf then returned only to discover Martin had in fact forgotten his helmet and so decided a woollen beanie would suffice. I would like to make clear at this point that this is not recommended to anybody and Mr Harrall is a very naughty hobbit. The loop was completed very quickly with no problems. This trip which not so long ago seemed like a big paddle for many of us seemed positively dwarfed by its big brother upstream!
On arrival at Waterworks bridge the group realised the daunting ½ mile walk back to the car park. So boats were shouldered and the group took on by far the most challenging part of the entire trip!
Many thanks to Martin Harrall for organisation and leading of this spectacularly exciting and beautiful trip through some of Englands most sequential scenery on one of the best white water trips around! Classic, cheers Hobbit!
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