Discretion is the boring form of valour...

So the snow melted this week and with the heavens opening we decided we would head for a trip to South Wales there would be some water right?

Driving up into the Brecon Beacons we soon realised there was some water, actualy no there was alot of water. All the rivers were running chocolate brown and what is best described as flood. We carried on anyway on the assumption that the Tawe had a small catchment so would still be at a 'safe' level, Luckily the Sat nav took us through a slight de-tour over a bridge of the Tawe. It was a swirly river of death, Some of the group were keener than others but a swim would have turned into an epic as there were very few eddies interspersed with huge waves and stoppers. Luckily we had a backup plan.

Parking in the Gwyn Arms car park we wnet for a walk up the Haffes, if we could'nt paddle whitewater we could atleast look

So we looked at some fantasy lines on the very steep Haffes (a Tawe tributary) and were very tempted but beacause of the lack of any feasable eddies and several sheep fences on the lower section we gave it a miss and went to the Pub instead. The Tawe had dropped to a high level and was very temtping but we didnt have time or a shuttle.

We found something very interesting on the way home but youll have to wait for info on that :P

Scotland 3-9th Jan 2010

This trip was planned and booked way back in August, long before we had any idea about the snow! Never the less we headed up with boats in the hope that some of the rivers might thaw out... they didn't!
The first day we all took a trip to the Etive (without boats) to see how frozen it was... very as it happens. Every fall on the rivers was frozen over with the water flowing beneath the ice. It was absolutely beautiful especially the 20foot right angle fall. After this we all stopped at the side of the main road for Sam and Mike to do some ice climbing. We all set up cameras around the 40foot wall they were aiming to assend. As Sam got towards the top he started to struggle as the ice was running out and any screws he managed to put in weren't very strong and a fall would almost certainly result in 40foot drop into the freezing water beneath him! Luckily he made it and Mike top-roped it with no drama.
The second day Mike and Sam went off for some more climbing and the rest of us headed to Glencoe Mountain for some skiing. Unfortunetely Jess sprained her ankle early on and couldn't carry on skiing. The weather was very misty and the skiing was hard with very little visibility.
On Wednesday Mike and Sam went off on a big Ice climb trip aiming to accend 260feet of a well known icey gully. The rest of us went into Fort William for a few hours before heading back to the cottage and going for a walk up the mountain behind the house. The views we stunning as we looked over to the Pap of Glencoe and out over Loch Leven. At about 16:00hrs though we got a phonecall from Sam. He suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome and had become too tired to continue climbing and Michael wasn't experienced enough to lead the route out of the gully, We called mountain rescue who set out after the,. Luckily the had taken plenty of warm clothes and food but none the less they were both very tired and cold when they returned home at 20:30hrs!
On Thursday 4 of us went skiing again leaving Mike and Sam at home to rest for the morning before joining us on the slopes later in the afternoon. After a bit of messing around on the easiest slope we all took the t-bar lift up to the next section. However it proved difficult on the snowboard as it get very narrow at one point and Charlie just couldn't make it all the way up. Simon and I had a few runs of Mug's alley before heading up to the top of the mountain. We did a couple of runs right down before Simon's legs got too tired. I then met up with Sam and Mike and we did another run on Mugs alley (mainly to laugh at Mike who cannot even stand up on skis!). Sam and i then headed back to the very top of the mountain and skied right to the car park at the bottom whilst the others took the chairlift. The route was hard; narrow, rocky with a mixture of powder and ice it was very unpredictable and we both fell plenty of times!
On Friday Charlie, Simon and I decided to go skiing again. This time we went straight to Mug's Alley. I then went up to the top on my own and was led down a challenging route by a couple of 12 year olds who proved much better than me! After lunch we all headed up to the top and came down some of the best runs on the mountain! I then managed to break my finger trying a jump which Charlie and Simon then decided not to try! We did one more run before taking the same route Sam and I did the day before back to the carpark.
We left early on Saturday morning and got home at about 14:30hrs after a fantastic and eventful week- albeit with no actual boating!
Ross

31st December- Slots, Falls and Portages on the Mellte

Ross, Rheanna and Barny met a crazy man called Sam to paddle the river Mellte in South Wales. The Mellte is famous for paddlers being air lifted out with broken backs, excellent. After getting on the river below the first 20metre fall onto rock we soon found the second big fall, its 2 20metre drops onto rock making something you REALLY dont want to get swept over, nervously catching an eddy we peered over the edge and took our boats for a walk, leaving them high up on the bank we scrambled down the bank to inspect the 'first runnable' drop.

A narrow slot leading into a 5 metre fall onto shallow rock, To make this worse the water seemed to be slamming into the side wall. Sam said that this drop would dislocate you shoulders and rearange your face if you got it wrong. We decided to run it anyway and Ross launched into the waterfall's plunge pool looking very nervous, lining up he dropped through the slot getting knocked onto edge and landing in the plunge pool with a quick high brace and he was down looking releived, Rheanna's turn next lining up the Mamba and dropping throught the slot she made it look super smooth and slid over the next 2 metre drop, Barny next, dropping in the water slammed him into the wall knocking him over and leaving him upside down in the pool and Ross and Rheanna thinking they'd have to put major rescue and first aid skills into practice, luckily he rolled up with nothing but scratches on his helmet. Sams turn and dropped in lifting his paddles leaving his ribs exposed to the rock wall, he'll feel that for a while. From re reading the guide it turns out this one is often portaged.

The river widened untill the next big waterfall, this one is sometimes run but the lip looked too dry meaning you couldnt get speed and would probably faceplant, not fun on a 20 metre fall. We took the boats for another walk. This marked the entrance to the Mellte gorge where the real fun started, the drops became cleaner and the water was channeled making features more powerfull. The next drop which need inspecting was a large slot known as the Backlooping slot, which led into a 2 metre drop onto rock which had to be boofed if you like your ankles as they are, this one is also sometimes portaged. The backlooping slot was run first without too many creekboat acrobatics, then came the shallow drop.

Barny ran first boofing and breaking out, no dramas. Rheanna's line was a bit more dramatic, missing the boof she landed sideways and capsized and drifted towards an undercut leaving Barny slightly worried but a sweet roll and some casual paddling later she joined Barny in the eddy in time to watch Ross land with a crunch in his playboat (an interesting choice for the Mellte) and got the eddy with an "Its a bit shallow", Sam followed and we carried on down the river.

Another large horizon line apeared, Sam scouted and pointed a line between a tree stump and a metal rod. Ross: "Paddle hard and make sure you boof" Rheanna: "I don't know how!". After dropping of the lip I wondered why hadnt I landed? Turns out the wier was quite a big one and landed on to not very much water. Ross, Barny and Rheanna got down fine. Ross used the opurtunity to explain to Rheanna what boofing was whith a "just watch Sam". Sam paddled hard toward the lip, hit the metal bar and lost all speed, span round and ran the wier sideways and got surfed in the stopper. "Thats not boofing"

Grade 4 rapids continued untill we reached the 'Looping Pool' this is a 20 metre deep pool with a powerful jet of water flowing into it, everyone ran the rapid leading into the pool fine and then the playboating started, Sam, Barny and Rheanna all managed to throw cartwheels and pop outs in their creek boats and Sam alomost got a full loop in a Big Dog Force! Ross managed to throw several ends in his Project 52, Once we'd finished we wathced Sam frontflip of a cliff which made Green Bridge look tiny, the rest of us followed, whilst satisfyed ourselfs with just jumping, The looping Jet, dished out some serious down time when it was jumped into. A few small rapids led to the get out.

What a trip! Have a good new year everybody. Barny

River Usk - December 09

With only one car Nigel and Tristan had to hitch hike the shuttle (thankyou peaple form Pencelli outdoor centre for the lift), Whilst Barny and Rheanna chatted to Shaun Baker at the car park. The river was at a good high level and the three ledge drops were excellent fun, the last producing a nasty stopper. Barny ran it first and everybody watched, slightly worried, as he got a 30 second beating. Nigel, Tristan and Rheanna then ran it no problems. Tristan and Barny decided to go up for another go, everydbody laughed as Barny got beaten ... AGAIN.

The next minor epic followed as Tristan's paddle magicaly snapped. Still we continued down fun rapids untill we got to the takeout bridge. To our delight there was a riverwide 2 foot clean wave which we spent an hour playing on which makes up most of the short video.

Thanks everyone see you all next weekend. Barny

Surfing- Porthcawl- December 2009

Arrived in time to catch the pushing tide on a beautiful sunny, allbeit cold day. Condition were 3-4ft and clean with moderate offshore winds which held the waves up nicely for steep drop ins. The waves offered tough conditions paddling out, especially towards back line with waves crashing just infront of us and trying to drag us back and flip us. Despite this everyone made it without much trouble. Nigel proved to be a natural showing no fear on the steepest drop ins before carving along the face (whooping for joy and scaring many surfers) and peeling neatly off the back. It was very difficult to believe this was his first ever time surfing as he quickly overcame his initial nerves at the size of the swell! I quickly forgot about surf etiquet in my rush to catch my first big steep wave and nearly blunted into a surfers face. Barny managed to land his first ever blunts as well as some unintentional loops (one of which causing a deck implosion). But the best trick was a joint effort on mine and Rheannas part, as she dropped down the wave face towards me I knew there was no way of getting out of the way and so hurled myself upside down, she grinded over my upturned boat before I righted myself and she carried on off down the wave! We got out as the tide rose high on the rocks and the conditions became cramped as everyone was squeezed into one part of the bay. We all got out on and around the lifeguard ramp (Nigel landing perfectly on an incoming wave) apart from Barny who for no explainable reason fell out of his boat when trying to get out (:P)! A very pleasant day with great weather and great surf! Ross.

The Mighty Lyn- Feb 2008

We think it’s about time the paddling world heard from two middle age blokes who paddle in the UK in freezing conditions! None of this Californian, Africa, or Nile type nonsense. No 60 foot mega water falls or 60 million cumec rivers, just two normal blokes, running a UK classic. Be honest that’s what we readers want to read about, things that are within the grasp of us normal people, albeit with a bit of practice, fuel and sizable lunch box (big balls at least).

That’s us, two normal paddlers Darren ‘Kitmonster’ Sutton and Martin ‘Hobbit’ Harrall (short with hairy toes), were two normal paddlers fed up of hearing about mega trips that are out of our grasp, fed up of sponsored paddlers, free flights and posh 4x4’s.

Making things worse was closer to home it was happening! Simon ‘Bevis’, Ross ‘Butthead’ and Michael the Horse (don’t ask) were banging on about their forthcoming trip to Scotland, over and over, the Etive this, right angle falls that blah di blah!.

It was after another cold winter’s night packing up after the pool session, we decided we needed a plan, one that did not involve flights, 4x4’s, porters and most importantly those difficult conversations at home about paddling again!

Thing is we only had one day and that was Sunday, we knew the lads would still be away giving us the opportunity of a couple of honour badges, but we needed a river that was at the right level, technical, pretty steep and very cool.

A plan emerged, the mighty River Lyn – Watersmeet to the Sea, This river is one of two channels which drops steeply from Exmoor into the Bristol Channel at Lynmouth. This is a grade 4 normally, 5 in higher levels. Grade 6 in really high levels! (Experts that are mad only).

In two miles it drops over 100 metres, passing between and over some pretty impressive boulders and natural drops. Not a river for the faint-hearted. This river has many opportunities for serious problems through pinning, stoppers and frequent tree obstacles.

That was all we needed, oh and we knew it would wind the lads up big time. Sunday came we met at 8am greeted by a barmy -7 degrees!!! What were we doing? We knew the river would be low and the only back up was the Barle, a great river but not one that would win us any honour badges. We needed it to be running.
Two hours later we pulled into the parking area on river left in Lymouth to check the level. It’s fair to say it was a slight scrape either side of the island and according to all the guide books that meant that it would be grade 4ish in the gorge. Whilst this river does not have a very high flow its technical difficulty and gradient make up for it and make it a formidable river, not one to be underestimated. The levels are crucial in determining what you shoot and what you portage. This river is 'flashy' and getting the level right is not easy.

As this stretch is only 2 miles long and we had one car we drove up to the get in and locked up the boats next to a tree. We then drove back to the car park and got kitted up. You could smell the nerves; Martin had run this before but not for a while and I had only read about it.

After kitting up we walked the two miles to the get in, this was a great opportunity to inspect. This was a bizarre situation the normally steely nerved Martin was nervous and I was fine? It concerned me slightly; I thought there must have been something wrong with me? It was my job to be the nervous one? No problem though as soon as we entered the Gorge my nerves cut in, it looked crazy, the lines were left, right, left again boof etc, what lines? I returned to my old self asking ‘Why am I here’, ‘can we do the Barle’, ‘my back hurts’, ‘I forgot a ticket on the car’ etc etc. Even after allowing for ‘shrinkavision™’ I wanted my mum!
We put on at Watersmeet and paddled down to the first real rapid a drop of about 4 feet, this rapid is a nice drop but where a strong cross-current pushes most of the water, boats, people etc into a rock face on the right. No issues here.

We carried on as the river carries on fairly innocently under a large arched bridge and turns to the left where you run a small drop no worries, 300 yards further is a house on the left with around a 3 foot drop which we ran on the right this is followed by a fast, narrow stretch. This was great fun.
We carried on to a small gravely 'beach' on the left which is a great point to inspect the very technical section from here to the next bridge. There is a 4 foot vertical drop about 100 yds upstream of the bridge and fantastically another group had set up rescue and we were able to watch the probes test the rapid and find a line, of course we allowed them to cover us (thanks) whilst we ran it, we were both through with no issues.
Once at the second bridge, Blackpool Bridge you are at the start of the very serious gorge section! The smell of fear returned!
Our tactic was simple, read and run as long as we had line of sight, as soon as the horizon disappeared or were unsure we inspected. Once we entered the Gorge this was almost every rapid we came to, at a low level between each rapid is a pool just large enough to scoop up gear and people etc. These pools are also excellent for inspecting and with a path either side of the river ideal.
The first drop in the gorge is a narrow slot which goes from right to left between rocks, closely followed by a 3 foot shoot. This is me, if you look closely you will see that the rapid drove me into the rock and the stern is already in the flow, what happened next was another new line, me backwards and upside down, first time role and Martins turn to have a go, again he makes it look easy!


This is where the first 'crux' rapid begins with a two metre vertical drop which we ran on the right, then followed by a chute past an under-cut left bank leading straight over a 7 foot vertical drop with a very shallow base, particularly on river right. Not an easy one to do with style, rarely though I made it look easy and Martin made it look …… interesting.
A father and daughter that followed us made it even more interesting after he critiqued my boof in a you didn’t wanna do it like that style he bombed big time rolled in the pool and took a swim (Ok I did laugh out loud sorry, I am human). Martin and I both had both recently completed the white water safety and rescue course and could now see an opportunity to practice!! (Sorry to you both, but we need some safe practice).
Next thing Dad swims to the side and the daughter is trying to chase boat the upturned creeker but to no avail, we shout for her to leave it, interestingly it drops over the next rapid into a very sticky and horrible vertical pin. Nasty! This was unnerving as Martin and I had planned on running this one.
We helped them unpin the boat (nice practice) always nice to have other people’s kit to break, I mean recover safely. Oh we walked this rapid, were not lemmings!!!


The next 100 yards is littered by lots of large drops, huge boulders and rock slides galore. ‘Are we having fun yet?’


Not far from here is the last rapid of the serious gorge section the second 'crux' follows. First the river funnels towards a narrow channel to the left before cascading over a 6 foot vertical drop into a pool this is normally a nasty stopper, I ran this backwards, upright and did not see or feel one (thankfully). I would say this was a new line but you only have to look on any of the webb sites to see this rapid is notorious for a backward line ands normally a hammering in the stopper at the bottom.


This marks the end of the serious section, but the final stretch still has plenty of interest. A bit of rock dodging and pin ball followed on the last stretch to the car park. Bizarrely the most evil rapid and potentially most serious event happened on a rapid just outside of the gorge. A rapid that in the past has led to the emergency services being called to extract people that have been pinned.
Just as you relax this rapid can catch you out (just like some of my ex girl friends!) for me, I missed my line, what happened next was some frantic paddling and a place I rather had not gone. Sat pinned upstream on top of a rather nasty looking log. I was trying to avoid capsizing on the upstream of it. I knew I needed to get to the down stream side to avoid a potentially very serious situation.
So what did we do, I did nothing till Martin had moved next to me, from this point we could plan. Using a paddle for support we were able to move the boat backwards in the current at the same time as moving to the down steam side, once this was achieved I ran the next rapid one handed and somehow managed a one handed paddle role. A massive sigh of relief.


Soon we were at the car park, buzzing, tired and on top of the world!!! Two mile walk in, two miles paddle down, over 100 metres in height taking over three hours, knackered!
As soon as we had mobile signal we called Simon, Ross and Michael. It went like this:
‘Hi’
‘Hi how are you’
‘Fine I am with Martin on our way home’
‘Home, from where?’
‘Exmoor, Lynmouth?
‘You ran the Lyn? You jammy *******!!!!!’
Editors Note: We appreciate we broke some basic rules like, ‘less than three should never be’. In our defence we have paddled together for years, know each others limits (or mine). Have training in rescue skills and first aid all this year. We also had other groups within line of sight etc. We do not recommend you run the Lyn or any river as a two, or without proper training, experience, level etc. Use your head and do your own risk assessment.

Water a plenty on the Tawe- Feb 2007

After a week of snow, blizzards and no rain we had totally annoyed all our families and puzzled most of our friends by moaning about the lack of rain. The River Gods in typical and true River God fashion repaid our stupidity by dumping gazillions of gallons of rain on the slowly thawing snow; this was all done on Saturday night in exactly 12 minutes.

When Darren left home to collect the Inner Circle it was dark, very very wet and had the sense of impending doom, just the normal pre paddling nerves then for Darren.

At Ross’s (Beavis’s) house Darren found Martin (Hobbit) already there having ridden his small pony with boat and paddle all the way from Semington’s Ville (or whatever its called). Darren and Martin continued to do all the work loading and packing the car, this is completely normal because Ross (Beavis) and Simon (Butthead) don’t ever help probably due to the fact that they are lazy sods and assume that just because they are famous they don’t have to do any work.

At this stage you are probably wandering where Beavis and Butthead came from, well first an apology to Simon, its not personal Ross could have been Butthead its jut the way it is so get over it! Anyway remember Beavis and Butthead long hair, sitting longingly looking into each others eyes and laughing weirdly at each others jokes, you know its true they sit in the back of the people carrier:

Beavis ‘ah ha’
Butthead ‘for sure’
Beavis ‘like ya ha’
Butthead ‘grrrr ya’
Both ‘hahahahahahah grrrrr’

Etc etc

So back to Darren and Martin doing all the work as usual after several calls, door bell knocking, ringing of bells, stone throwing and three 30 kiloton thermonuclear bombs Ross and Simon finally immerged from Ross’s house, asking why know one had tried to get them out???

Before I go on I just want to put things into perspective, as paddlers we are the Inner Circle (New) for 2006/2007 White-water Season, a small but distinguished group of hard core paddlers who at the beginning of 2006 would have aspired to run the Dart Loop. After all the paddling that’s been done this season the Loop has been demoted to the new Symonds Yat. In fact we don’t even stop and play on the loop we just run it!! We are even turning away people outside the Circle. Where will we go from here Grade 5? The Alps?

The car was now loaded with all the kit and sat creaking under the weight; this was mostly caused by Martins lunch box made up of bird food and Squirrel sandwiches which were made with Elvin bread, a mighty Hobbit feast.

The drive up to Michael’s (Rug Rat) flat at Plas Pencelli was full of the normal banter, Darren trying to establish how close he would come to dying again, Simon under normal circumstances would do this instead of Darren, but as he had already run this river was enjoying trying to worry Darren (Thanks).

When I say normal banter it would also be fair to say we had a bizarre conversation about whether Michael would be paddling or not, it transpires that when Emily says no she actually means yes, but actually does not want Michael to paddle and wants him to stay with her. If he then paddles because she has said yes she then pulls a hissy fit because he should have known that yes actually means no? Confused? Me too it would also appear that the phone Martin calls Michael on does not exist and that’s why Martin never gets a call back?

Moving on as we drive in we were all very very very surprised to see the Usk river, and all its tributaries and hundreds of mountain streams running deep brick red hue and out of the banks regardless of how steep they were, at Crickhowel bridge the normal Usk get out the Bridge had a huge wave behind it. The mood had already changed all busy pretending not to be nervous. Martin searching for plans A,B,C and D with three possible E’s.

On arriving at Pencelli to pick up Michael we were all surprised to find that the place where he lived had been ransacked over night leaving it in a terrible state some might say 'tip like'. In fact the robbers felt so sorry for them they deposited nice mountain bikes, skis and kayaks randomly all over the place, very handy.

Being at Michaels was a strange experience, a cave man emerged from a door on the left filled a bowl full of maggots then took it outside to force feed a screaming cat which was large enough not to fit through doors any more (Guinness Book of records?). This cave man then went back to his cave after making strange sounds. Michael then emerged from his room dressed in a diaper and a baby grow, man this lot are weird. Darren escaped quickly back to his car locking the doors.

Finally five boats and enough kits to last us for months we were off to the Tawe get in which is above the pub at Glyntawe. We arrive and get kitted up. Darren had deviously negotiated with Martin to be the Shuttle Bunny on his extremely uncool bike. NOTE Darren was surprised but grateful Martin was so easy to convince it saved Darren pretending to be injured. Thanks.

Thankfully for the credibility of the group the bike was not needed as a group of paddlers from Nottingham arrived and they gave us a lift back from the get out. Unfortunately however Martin still wanted to show us a wheelie and some endos on his mum’s bike, this took fifteen minutes. Ross, Simon and Michael escaped silently whilst this was happening and were playing on the first weir.

Martin and Darren finally carried their boats to the river; Darren’s worryingly weighing in at 5 tons? Never did work why but might have been the lunch box, spare paddles, throw rope, rescue shelter, fridge, wide screen TV, entire back collection of Miami Vice and Sky Box including dish and remote control.

Down under the first bridge Darren taking a perfect left line scraping the rocks thinking this level won't be so bad Martin taking the right line. Both drop the first three foot ledge dropping through the wave then breaking out to play with everyone else.

Next follows an easy but fast grade two to three section mainly with small drops, and waves, a perfect warm up. Darren seemed to be the only person who noticed tributary after tributary joining the Tawe. This section is very difficult to break out of as the man made sides mean there are no eddies.

The next section soon beefs up to grade threes and fours with much chunkier rapids and haystacks all taken with no major issues. The first warning of any thing major soon comes as you approach the second bridge and a monster stopper. Next came a full on set of grade 4 after grade 4 rapid and drops, only when you look back do you realise just what you have paddled through. After this we all break out river left to inspect Pen Y Cae. We are well over a hundred yards short of it and out of our boats we follow the one with the hairy toes, Martin as he picks his way through the trees and wood land, you can smell the fear and hear the roar of the falls themselves.

The route required a fast ferry glide to river right, then a turn to drop down over a ledge next, another ledge with a narrow slot which had a slight lip, then a supper fast break out river right to avoid being dragged down the falls back wards on the wrong side which would definitely lead to a massive kicking (and probably much worse), we quickly set up three areas for good photos sorry I mean rescue points. However we all made sure we looked good and ensured we were not showing any fear! (Be honest you know it’s true).

Martin ran first, looking very Hobbit like and in control he ran well up to the lip and even though Darren had warned him he cocked up the slot and caught the lip with his right edge. The inevitable roll followed, seconds seemed like hours, all nervous that we would miss this fantastic kicking the Hobbit would take and more importantly we might miss the great footage we could send Jeremy Beadle. NOTE obviously that’s a joke and we were only worried about Martin and his boat, well mostly the boat.

Martin skilfully timed his roll, breaking out river right and looking as if he had just ran a grade two baby rapid, even though he had just skipped past a serious kicking. Meanwhile the rest of the Inner Circle was thinking what chance have we got if the hairy toed Hobbit rolled! Next up was Simon he made his line making it look easy, next Darren guided in by the Hobbit found his line and although nearly disappearing backwards due to posing for a photo made the breakout, Michael dived into the eddy followed closely behind by Ross.

All safely into the breakout point we finally took a look at the awesome Grade 4+ Pen Y Cae falls. A full on scary slide river right avoiding the worst of the stopper and being slammed into the wall, this then needed to be followed instantly by manic paddling river left to avoid be slammed into the wall river right by the current through the very narrow 3 foot slot, then dropping down into more ledge drops avoiding the stoppers!! No worries!! So we set up two camera points (this was a priority Darren was fed up of having no pictures), we also set up three rescue points all ready to save Ross should he need it.

Ross ran first and took an interesting line on his head, down the slide into the slot, ramming himself into the side and capsizing just as he starts to drop down over the ledge drops each time bouncing up as he hit rock with his head, some how he managed to narrowly miss all the stoppers, and very impressively he managed to roll up and break out! Great paddling! NOTE This was much to the groups surprise as we were at least expecting blood and possibly one knocked out Ross, incredibly he ran up smiling as ever asking if we had it on video and yes we do and yes everyone has now had it, it’s very funny, thanks.

Martin up next aced it sliding down paddling perfectly over, skimming dead centre through the slot then running down the drops over the rapids into a breakout point. Making it look very easy.

Darren is next down the slide, he hits the side of the slot but skilfully manages to avoid a capsize, and continues to skim down through the rock and drops down breaking out river left, with a huge grin, happy to be alive. Jedi power again carrying him through.

Michael followed Darren’s line and also narrowly avoided a swim, but also skilfully made it to break out.

Back in the boats the Inner Circle continue on for less than a hundred yards to the beginning of the main falls, out again we inspect and set up camera and rescue points although the rescue points were pointless because we would not have been able to get a boat in and the throw lines would never have reached, for some reason none of us discussed this?

The line on the falls was easy (to avoid death) ferry glide to river left, turn then pass under the little water fall which blinds you (thanks Martin for that), quickly between two rocks clinging to the cliffs, staying river left to avoid being pulled down the centre line and to certain doom, then paddle for 30 yards turn at right angles and paddle like a nutter, ker-plunk down you go.
Oh yes and whatever you do avoid the swim because there is a grade three rapid with half the river blocked by a huge tree that will strain you, no pressure! Everyone stepped up to the plate and made the falls, Simon being the master of this art, Ross for some reason running it side ways and the weight of Michaels baby grow and full nappy turning him on landing. The falls were awesome!

Next down a short grade three rapid hard over to river right past the tree to the gorge section, this starts with more grade four drops which lead into a long side ways slide where you need to try and avoid a nasty side ways stopper, next over a huge six foot haystack and on down the river punching through the stopper at the bottom, this was a fantastic section everyone doing there best to hit the haystacks full on, Ross even managed to 180 and back surf the stopper awesome (fluke you know it and so do I).

Next comes a narrow and fast gorge with some great haystacks the river now deceptively eases of, but round a bend comes an unexpected narrow ledge drop of a reasonable height, at the bottom sat a very large and side swiping stopper,

The Inner Circle merrily looking up at the gorge and cliffs one by one dropped down into the stopper first saw Simon roll followed closely by Martin, somehow Martin rolled up to find Michael in his armpit and facing backwards! Next Darren dropped in pulling off a very cool and skilful back deck role, which is amazing because he can’t do it (he then bored us with tales of how cool his roll was all the way back!), Ross followed Darren also capsizing. Michael was the only one who managed to survive and avoid the roll! No one knows how!! 4 out of 5 paddlers took a role in that stopper how cool is that???

All laughing and trying to work out what had happened to the group we paddled on down through some easier rapids. After this we had to break out above a weir which we portaged to avoid death (a simple choice), the huge tow back and deepness would have sent you to the Green Room for ever! As we were getting out here Ross and Michael hilariously threw snow on Simon and Darren (how they laughed).

After the weir there came a short grade 3 gorge followed by a bridge which had two huge stoppers just inside it, this caused Martin to stop dead in his tracks Michael soon joined him to spin around into Martin’s loving armpits once again. Everyone else managed to punch through with no issues.

Soon we were at the get out carefully chosen by Martin for its inaccessibility and likely hood of dying and loosing our kit, a near vertical wet mud slope onto a main road full of Welsh Boy Racers in Impreza Turbo’s. Nice one.

Darren collected the car and everyone got changed apart from Michael who was still weirdly wearing his baby suit and nappy, no wander Emily went home, she escaped!

We all jumped back into the car, Darren fired up the engine and drove off the bridge into the road the weight of Martins lunch box and Michael’s nappy causing us to bottom out and ripping off most of the back end of the car.

Never mind, we were off to scout a section of Grade 5, all high on Hobbit dust and survival, we all were planning our lines and drops, how we would run huge water falls we call it dreaming! NOTE No trip should be planned after a trip only when you get home and sanity and reality sets in.

Dropping Michael off he was pleased to see a note from his boss offering him praise on all the good work he had been doing lately and how soon him and Cave Man may soon be doing a different role.

We screamed back across the bridge to avoid Michael showing us pictures of other men in Baby Grows and Darren dropped everyone but not Wilf off at Ross’s house.

An Epic trip

Kayakerdad